My confession: I'm spending every last cent of my unemployment on nonsense

I have always had a problem spending money. If I want something, I typically buy it with no regard for a "budget," or "responsibility."

Now, I've never been rich. I'm not talking about luxury cars or fantastical vacations. But I do have clothes that still have the tags on. A scooter that doesn't run. Electronic gizmos. A collection of mid-century items that could stock a small museum. A bar tab that might suggest I have a problem. Not to mention $25,000 in college loans to repay.

I had always been able to just barely stay on top of things. I wasn't letting anyone down (except, perhaps, my fiscally responsible and always supportive parents). This was my own, private battle until a year and a half ago, when I was laid off.

Here comes the guilt.

I was laid off a year and a half ago and NOTHING HAS CHANGED. I'm still spending every last cent on nonsense. For the first few months, I was able to rationalize it thusly: It was money I had put into the system, so it's effectively mine, and therefore it's OK to squander. But I have moved far beyond what I've put into the system. The government is funding my irresponsibility and I feel awful.

And yet — I can't stop.