I'm happy to pay for my jobless boyfriend, but he wants to chip in. Should I let him?

A. L. Katz  |  03:24 PM, Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A lot of unemployed folks would give their eyeteeth for a sweetheart as rude as you. Buying him dinner? Picking up fancy ingredients for your home cooking adventures? What's next, something nice for his birthday?

Seriously, though, unequal incomes (and economic stability, and professional self-esteem) can take a toll on couples, and you're thoughtful to be sensitive to your boyfriend's feelings. Not to spell out the obvious, but why don't you guys talk about it? Here's your opener: "I'd like to pitch in here and there to cover a few things until you're working full-time again, but not if it would upset you. How do you feel about that?" If he hesitates, tell him that you'd be delighted for him to do the same for you if your circumstances are ever reversed. And if he really objects, don't let the conversation end there, but see if you can draw out why he feels this way. If you're going to be together for the long haul, these are just the kinds of honest conversations about money that you need to have.

Meanwhile, in the spirit of solidarity, you might also tone down the expensive gourmandise for a while. This is a good moment to investigate your neighborhood's $2 taquerias, or to learn to make a perfect omelette. Unemployment is (hopefully) temporary, but learning to eat well for pocket change is forever.