How To Move To Canada If Your Candidate Doesn't Win The Election

Image courtesy of Gavin St. Ours

It's a BIG election this year. Better lay plans to escape the country if your guy isn't the winner come November 6th. Oh, Canada…


Every four years the pundits and political operatives scream about how "This is the most important election of our time." Of course, during all those previous elections, that was just hyperbole—this time they really mean it!

That means unfortunately you won't just be able to go about your life if your preferred candidate loses this most important of all elections. Think Romney's team didn't see your "humorous" little tweets about him? Think Obama will be so quick to forgive all those pro-Romney "likes" on Facebook?

I don't think so.

No, you my politically engaged friend are going to have to flee the country while you can until things cool down.

But where to escape to? May we suggest every political malcontent's favorite fallback plan: Canada! No US government thugs loyal to the guy you didn't vote for can reach you up there. And plus, Canada (sometimes known as "America's hat") is just like the United States, only a wee bit colder. They speak English in most parts, use "dollars" (that are basically worth the same as US bucks), and they have a lot of the same businesses and restaurants we have down here. It'll be like you never left home! (PLUS free healthcare!)

Sold!

So, Where To Start?

First, if you are planning to live in Canada for the long term, you can check out the official Immigrate to Canada web portal. According to the site, there are several programs set-up to bring in some fresh new warm bodies, regardless of your political affiliation in your former home.

For example those Canucks are always in search of skilled workers and professionals who "are selected as permanent residents based on their education, work experience, knowledge of English and/or French, and other criteria that have been shown to help them become economically established in Canada."

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Or, you could take advantage of their Business Immigration Program that "seeks to attract experienced businesspeople to Canada who will support the development of a strong and prosperous Canadian economy." Specifically, they are looking for investors, entrepreneurs, and the self-employed. These "business immigrants" are expected to make a C$800,000 investment (a little less than $807,000) or own and manage businesses in Canada and additionally must meet "certain experience and/or net worth criteria."

Canada, Hockey, ThugsBasically, if you have a sought-after skillset or money to invest, you're golden. Doesn't sound like you? For the rest of the workforce, there are still some other avenues. First, you can apply to be a temporary worker in Canada (you must have a sponsoring employer) or apply for a study permit (which will necessitate having been first accepted to a recognized Canadian college or university).

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Once you have this bona fide Canadian experience, you can try to parlay that into permanent residence via the Canadian Experience Class program designed for those who have lived or worked in Canada over an extended period of time.

There's Gotta Be An Easier Way

Of course, the easiest way to become a Canadian is to hook up with a Canadian. And remember, they allow for same-sex partnerships in Canada and allow current Canadian citizens to sponsor a "spouse, conjugal or common-law partner" for citizenship. So there's a whole world of opportunity! 15 martial arts schools to teach you defend yourself from grizzlies, hockey goons.

But how to go about meeting the convenient Canadian of your dream?! Any viewers of the Michael Moore film Sicko may have remember the prompt at the end stating "Any American interested in marrying a Canadian for health care can go to: www.hookacanuck.com." That site does indeed exist. But there's not much there but a landing page and a promise to be developed in "the immediate future" though the copyright only goes to 2011.

If you want to truly hook a Canuck, you may have to do it the old fashioned way: by visiting Canada and using your charms. Or Craigslist.

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But don't start fretting quite yet. It's a tight race—it could go either way. So, as we watch the election results with baited breath, hopefully none of this information will even be necessary.

For the rest of you: we hope you like hockey.

Image of Canadians partaking in local customs courtesy of s.yume

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Evan Dashevsky is the Editor of Bundle.com, follow him @haldash