I consider myself a champion complainer.

My recent scores range from a couple of Happy Meals at McDonald's to a $50 coupon at Hertz to two free nights at the Hilton New York worth, depending on the season, $700 to $800. Better yet, I've gotten major companies to say they were sorry.

I share this not just to brag but to give hope to anyone who's ever battled the Gorgon that is customer service in America.

I'm here to tell you that you can take them on and emerge victorious. In "How to complain and win," I covered the basics: know your rights, take notes, be concise, be persistent, don't be a jerk and keep moving up the corporate ladder until your problem gets solved.

That column generated so much response from other customer-service victors that it's time for an update, with more details about how to win your particular customer-service war. So here goes:

Talk to a human — and be pleasant

Skip voice-mail hell. You often can't get your problem solved without talking to a human being, but some companies use convoluted voice-mail systems that make reaching a human all but impossible.

Fortunately, the Internet is full of customer-service warriors compiling shortcuts that can help you bypass the mazes. The gethuman.com cheat sheet is one of them.

What if the company is trying to steer you to an e-mail or Web-based customer-support system? Don't dismiss this option. That's how I made my complaint to Hilton Hotels. I briefly explained the maintenance calls that went unanswered, the nail I found on the floor (with my bare foot) and the 90-minute wait for room service. Within a day or so I received an e-mail from a manager who apologized for my bad experience and offered to comp a future two-night stay.

Of course, other companies bumble their e-mail support horribly, offering canned or indecipherable responses that don't help fix your problem. If that's the response you get, call the toll-free directory (1-800-555-1212) or check the company's Web site for its main number and ask for a transfer.

Enlist the rep. Let's face it: The customer-service rep's job usually bites. The pay may be low, turnover is high and they deal with cranky people all day long on both ends of the line. Their managers are pushing them to work faster and faster, sometimes insisting they pitch new goods or services to already unhappy customers.

"Unless you have worked on this end before, you wouldn't be able to understand the pressure that people are put under," wrote Chris, one of several customer-service reps who commented on my original column. "Your readers need to understand that the customer-service rep usually wants to help as much as possible, but there is a lot of pressure put on them by the company to resolve the problems within time limits."

That's why, like most of the other reps who wrote, Chris applauded my advice that consumers stay calm and polite. Chatting up the rep or asking her how she'd handle a similar problem may be ways to break the ice. Yelling, swearing or treating the rep like an idiot usually won't get you anywhere.

"As shameful as it is to say," wrote Mitch, a retail manager, "there is a certain joy in not being able to help rude customers."

Try, try again. Then again, some customer-service reps shred your patience before you even articulate your complaint. That's what happened to Cory Stephenson in Denver when she felt she'd been overcharged by her wireless company.

"Without even fully listening to my plea, the rep cut me off," saying the account couldn't be credited, Stephenson said. "Irritated, I asked to speak to a supervisor, at which time the rep flat-out refused to transfer me. She further threatened to hang up on me."

Needless to say, the call ended without Stephenson getting what she wanted. But then she called back, knowing she'd get a new rep, and asked immediately to speak to a supervisor.

"Naturally I was on hold for a while, but when the supervisor finally answered, remaining calm I explained my problem again," Stephenson said. "He then did the unthinkable — something the average rep would never do. He took the time to review my account and found the problem immediately."

Calling back and sticking around for the supervisor earned Stephenson two credits worth $70.

Up the pyramid

Aim higher. If you can't get help by phone or e-mail, it's time to go old school. Write a letter, and aim it at the people who get paid to care.

You can find the name and address of most company CEOs on their Web sites. That's how I found Craig R. Koch, head of Hertz. He didn't respond personally to my letter, of course, but one of his underlings did. Eventually, I got my coupon.

Writing a letter also allowed me to send McDonald's CEO Jim Skinner a photo of the grinning skeleton creature that was given to my 2-year-old as a "toddler toy" in her Happy Meal. I got two apologies for that one: one included the coupons for free meals, while the other came with a charming Little People toy that elicited giggles instead of shrieks.

Sending letters by certified mail, return receipt requested, also creates that paper trail that can be so important in larger disputes.

Play the loyalty card the right way. Threatening to take your business elsewhere often doesn't work well with front-line reps. Remember, they're typically being judged by how fast they can get you off the phone, not the ultimate fallout from their interaction with you.

Get higher up in the corporate food chain, though, and it's definitely something to mention, particularly if you've spent a good amount of money with the company in the past or had planned to do so in the future.

Former contractor and author Terry Meany used that approach after he had problems getting an electric sander repaired.

"The first repair lasted about a week, and when I retrieved it the second time, it wouldn't run at all. I boxed it up (and) sent it to the president of the company with a note stating, in part, the poor service was only one of the reasons they were losing so much business to their Japanese competitors," wrote Meany, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Remodeling Your Home," among other titles. "The vice president of technical development promptly sent me a new sander and a report of their findings after contacting the Seattle repair shop."

Get help. Stacy Blanton of Indianapolis had a terrible experience in New York when she discovered the bathroom of her rather pricey boutique hotel had no cold water, so the toilet wouldn't flush and the shower was scalding hot. Incredibly, the hotel's management turned down her request for a break on the room. A relative who knew someone in the hotel's management tried to intervene, to no avail. All it took was a call from a journalist (ahem), and Watson got the free night she should have had months earlier.

Now, I'm not going to solve your problem for you, but there are plenty of other places you can look. Knowing who regulates the company can help.

David Keller's local electric company was ignoring his complaints, so he called its regulator, the Public Utilities Commission of Ohio. After explaining his problem, the commission agreed he had a legitimate beef.

"They gave me some hard-to-find phone numbers of a few top executives that they work with when dealing with complaints," Keller said. "Amazingly, my situation was addressed pretty quickly. They were nice about it, and it never got threatening or nasty on either side. But they were able to fix the things their unthinking employees couldn't."

Sometimes just having an authority figure in the same room can help.

Loan officer Brian Foster of Little Rock, Ark., had a client who had tried on her own to get an erroneous collections account removed from her credit report. The collection agency not only insisted to the credit bureaus that the account was legitimate; it stuck her on hold for more than an hour when she tried to make her case that it wasn't.

Foster had the client call from his office speakerphone the next day.

"She told the collection manager . that she was in her banker's office and wanted me to witness what was said," Foster said. "After a minute of stuttering and stammering, the collection manager confirmed that it was not my borrower's debt and faxed a note on their bank letterhead within 15 minutes."

Judgment day

Go to court. Filing a small-claims case takes some effort, and victory isn't assured. But it may grab the company's attention if nothing else has.

Frances Gillespie's insurance company decided a body shop had taken too long to fix her car, which was extensively damaged in an accident caused by another driver. The insurer refused to pay the full rental car cost, leaving Gillespie with a bill of around $250.

After weeks of fruitless discussions with countless insurance phone reps, Gillespie finally filed a case in small-claims court.

"Within three hours of my filing, I received a call from (the insurer) stating 'we have your money for you.'" Gillespie wrote. "(The) check arrived within a few days."

Coincidence? Maybe. But as Gillespie said, "Sometimes it pays to be the squeaky wheel."

Related Links:

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